Biblelicious

Genesis Chapter 22

Stories like this make me wonder what it would be like if it happened today.

It’d probably end up as a made-for-TV movie on Lifetime or something. You’d be channel surfing some insomniac night and (LTMN) Abraham & Isaac: Religious fanatic attempts to sacrifice son to Almighty God. Based on a true story. (CC) (R) (TV13) would pop up in your Tivo guide.

If you were me, you flip right past and settle in on a nice rerun of What Not to Wear. You know, a show that you can actually relate to. Although, if you are me, your Tivo might record it for you. Tivo’s creepy like that.

Click the link and read the chapter. I’ll wait.

I remember Brother Rowell preaching on this one when I was a kid. I don’t really remember the substance of the sermon, probably something about being steadfast in your faith and all. What I do remember is thinking about the reality of what it would have been like to be Abraham, or worse, Isaac.

I thought about how it would feel to walk up that mountain knowing that you were going to kill someone. Walking up that mountain, acting like everything was just fine, everything was normal and happy. But you knew, you knew, for three whole days, you knew.

Three long days.

Each step, each minute, each hour, closer to the sacrifice.

Then it wouldn’t be days anymore, it would be hours, and then only minutes. In just half an hour you would have to kill him. Then, in 20 minutes, you were going to grab him, overpower him, tie him down and kill him. In just 10 more minutes you were going to grab him, overpower him, tie him down and slit his throat. In just 5 minutes, 2 minutes, 1 minute. Going over and over in your mind, exactly how you would do it, exactly what would happen, trying to anticipate the struggle, wondering if there would even be one.

And then, I remember thinking about it from Isaac’s side, being overtaken, overpowered, being stunned and confused, frightened. In a flash, the reality of what was happening dawning on him. Then there would be sadness. Overwhelming sadness. That’s what I imagine Isaac felt. Not anger, not disbelief, just sadness. Sadness at the betrayal, sadness knowing he was less important, that his life was not important enough for Abraham to argue with God about. Not important enough for his father to disobey God.

Sadness because this was all he got.

OK, well, I’m not sure I thought all that as an 8 year old. Most probably, I was having a little nap in the pew, or drawing pictures on the bulletin. But some of it, I’m sure I thought about some of it. And the rest? Well, I read a passel of Dostoevsky in college. He seeps into your brain and you never quite shake it.

In Crime and Punishment, Raskalnikov carries that ax around under his coat, and you follow along with him all the winding way to the old pawnbroker’s house where he kills her with three swift whacks. Right on the skull. You’re in his mind, his steps, thoughts.

And then there’s the beginning of The Idiot where you follow the thoughts of condemned man on his way to the gallows.

Read this bit of The Idiot and you will be convinced that state executions are cruel and unusual punishment.
Dostoevsky knew what he was talking about, it’s not like he was just blowin’ smoke up our collective asses. During WWI, he was sent to the gallows, had the velvet hood over his head, the noose around his neck when the reprieve came. Ol’ Fyodor D. knew.

But I digress. Back to the slaughtering of innocents at hand.

A number of things come to mind here. First, why would Abraham hazard arguing for the life of his nephew Lot, when God was going to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, but he doesn’t make a peep when the self-same God tells him to kill his own child. And not just any child, the one, the only one, the promised one, the fruit of their steadfast faith one. The father of great nations, one.

Perhaps that’s it, right there. Issac was God’s, promised and given but still God’s. Perhaps Abraham felt it was God’s prerogative to take him back. Seems pretty harsh, but almost harsher still that he didn’t make him go through with it.

I don’t know, you may disagree, but it almost seems it would have been better if God had made him go through with it and then had miraculously brought Isaac back from the dead, or made it so that the knife wouldn’t cut, or that as soon as the knife came down, God did a little switch-a-roo with Isaac and the ram. I mean, even Sabrina could have pulled that one off, just a twitch of the nose and Tabitha would have found herself in the bushes instead of tied to a rock.

But the way the story goes, it’s like this God’s got a sick little sense of humor. That, or Abraham just couldn’t do it. I prefer the latter.

Creationist boy comes through again with some metaphorical insight. God couldn’t let Abraham sacrifice Isaac, he could not let him be the sacrificial lamb, because there is only one Lamb of God, only one human sacrifice necessary, and Isaac isn’t the one.

Can anyone guess who is? I’ll give you a hint: His initials are J.C.

And, if you are reading the Old Testament as a precursor to the coming of Christ, as preparation for Christianity (which many Christians do, but not so much with the Jews) then it’s a nice little bit of foreshadowing. If you almost sacrifice someone in the beginning of a book, when you really do it in the end, not so unbelievable for the reader.

Another source I read, I can’t remember which. It might have been Isaac Asimov’s bible commentary. I know, I didn’t know he wrote one either. It’s pretty good. Or, maybe one of the sources my Episcopal Monk friend gave me. (Shouuuuuuttttt Ouuuutttt to my main Monk Man for the theological hook up.)

Anyway, whatever the source was, said that child sacrifice was pretty common during that time. This child-ram substation distinguished the Israelites from all other traditions because they did not practice human sacrifice.

Very plausible and, bonus, good PR for getting your new religion off the ground.

Come, join us for worship! The other guys might sacrifice you, but we never will.*

* Circumcision Required