Biblelicious

Genesis Chapter 26

Alrighty then, this is the third time we’ve run across this very same story. But, instead of Abraham and Sarah, this time it’s Isaac and Rebecca.

Something tells me I should pay attention.

Hummm…could it be that this is the THIRD time I’ve been told that when you are married to a babealicious babe and you have to go foraging in a foreign land, say that she’s your sister. Otherwise, you’ll probably be killed and they’ll take your her as their wife or concubine or newest harem addition or sex slave. But then those last two are pretty much the same, aren’t they?
But, if you say that she’s your sister, you get to stay alive and your wife isn’t stolen away and raped by the locals. Well, OK, she’s not always stolen away and raped by the locals — only sometimes.

Oh, and God rewards you with lots of booty (not the back that bitch up kind, rather, the silver and gold and slaves and camels kind).

So, what’s up with this?

Once again, I read a pile of commentary. Basically these guys (cause they are pretty much all guys) say, sins of the father repeated by the son. I didn’t find much else. I didn’t find anything that looked any deeper, that looked at the issues of sex and incest and rape and respect. All things here that seem to be bonking me over the head.

So, in lieu of any informed commentary, I’m gonna wing this one.

Hold on, it may be a bumpy ride…

A few thoughts on the literal, then we’ll move on to the mythical.

If I say she’s my wife, then she’s fair game. They can kill me and rape her. If I say she’s my sister, then they’ll have to ask me before they rape her, but they won’t kill me.

What’s the difference here?

In the former, the people in question have had sex.

In the latter, they should by no means have had sex.

So, if you’ve played the double-backed monster game, you are fair game. If you haven’t, then you you still get a little respect.

Funny how much that sounds like a lot rape trials. But, lets not go there. Lest I lose all focus and rant endlessly…

So, it’s sex. All crazy wound up, who gets to have it with who. I may be simplifying a bit, but if you are a woman, and you’ve given it up at least once, then you’re not worth what you were before. You are worth way more while that little bit of skin remains unbroken.

If you’ve already done the deed, what does it matter how many more times you do it, or who you do it with. Or, even, if you don’t want to, what’s the harm in making you do it anyway?

And, for the hapless husband? He should know better than to bring such a luscious wife into a foreign land. We’re gonna get us some of that, and we know you won’t give it to us, so we’ll just kill you and take it.

Now, on the other hand, if you haven’t given it up yet, if you are still intact, as they used to say, then you get a little respect. And so does your, um, brother. Neither of you are defiled already, therefore it’s much more of a taboo to go there.

You run into the whole sister/wife thing in almost every ancient civilization’s religion. Mayan, Inca, Japanese, Grecian, Roman, and Egyptian. Hera and Zeus had the brother sister husband wife thing going on.

Remember Isis and Osiris? Them too.

You don’t remember? Oh, well then, I’ll tell you a little story.

Isis and Osiris were very, very powerful and good and just gods in ancient Egypt. They loved their people and they loved each other very much. When Osiris’s evil brother killed Osiris and then let dogs tear apart his body and scatter it along the countryside, Isis was very, very upset. She searched high and low, finding all the bits of Osiris’ body, except one.

The one little part she couldn’t find?

His penis.

It had been swallowed by a fish.

Pecker eaten up by a fish, there’s some juicy symbolism…

Needless to say, Isis was very sad about that little missing part of her brother-husband, so she made one out of gold, brought him back to life, had one last romantic evening, then sent him off to be god of the underworld.

Isis continued to be a great goddess and was worshiped far and wide, well into the first century A.D.

It’s amazing how many accounts I found on the web that just gloss right over the missing penis, eaten up by a fish, replaced by a golden dildo part of the story.

So, I’ve got to wonder if this thrice-told story of sister-wife, but not really sister-wife like the nasty pagans had real sister-wives, is some sort of backlash against the prevailing religions of the time. That when the ancient Israelites heard this story, they immediately saw how their stories, their ancestors, their God was different, superior, from the other gods.

This God, their God, the one God, the sexless, personality-less, all powerful, wrathful, not always terribly wise or just, with absolutely no sense of humor God, would never be party to such a thing as sex with his sister, nor would the patriarchs of his people.

This God doesn’t have a sister, or a wife. Kind of begs the question about how He manages to produce a Son. But if He made Adam out of clay, I’m sure He can whip up a Son out of clouds or heavenly nectar or something. But I digress…

We find ourselves with this ancient mythical theme, turned all inside out. The pagan gods did well by sleeping with their siblings. The Israelites are a different sort, their God rewards them for not sleeping with their siblings and doing what they can to protect their wives.

Makes some sense, I guess, if you think of it that way.

But still, the old gods were way more fun.